On the Side
by KellyJade
Summary: The meeting's been had, decisions have been made. Two little liars have left for the night. Two haven't.  Hanna/Spencer
1. Role Reversal

Yes, Pretty Little Liars.

Yes, Hanna/Spencer.

No, I don't own it.

Damn.

Review! (I don't know what I'm going to do with this, continuation wise, so suggestions are appreciated)

"So… Are they gone?" Hanna asks me, and I can see a spark of mischief flash across her face. And I know that it's going to be one of _those_ nights.

I pull back the curtain of my window back a tiny bit and see Emily close the front door of her Toyota. She shakes her head and replies to something Aria must have asked her from the passenger seat. They pull out of my driveway, and I let the curtain fall over the glass again. "Yep," I say, keeping my voice carefully smooth and light. "They look like they're still talking about Ian and Melissa."

I'm not even looking at her, but I know she rolls her eyes. "Oh no you don't, don't start up with all your pessimism." Her finger drags lightly across my collarbone, and I gear up to pull away, and begin our tried and true game of cat and mouse.

But then I admit to myself there's no resisting Hanna anyway, so why try?

Her lips are next to brush across my skin, and then I feel her left hand move down to slide along my thigh. I laugh softly. "Eager, tonight," I say, my breath catching a bit. I move backwards, guiding her away from the window, and gently moving into a seated position.

She seems to realize she's sitting on top of me on my bed and she stops kissing my neck to looks up at my face, one perfect eyebrow raised. "That's it?"

I move my head back to stare at the ceiling, exasperated. "Are we really having this conversation?" I wonder aloud.

She laughs. I love her laugh, it's so free. Out of all of us, Hanna is the only one that can still really laugh like she used to, before all of this mess.

"Yes," she says, placing her forefinger on my chin to move my head down to face her. "We are having this conversation. What's up? Usually I have to at least touch you somewhere naughty before you submit."

She has this adorable look on her face. Playful, but confused. A blonde curl falls into her eyes and I want to kiss her. But of course, I guess I have some explaining to do before she'll let me do that. I almost laugh aloud. Talk about role reversal.

"Seriously, though," Hanna continues, focused on her interrogation. "Where's the 'Not tonight, Hanna, I have a paper due in the morning'? Where's the 'Come on, my parents are downstairs'?" She squeezes my thigh. "I almost feel like you _want_ to fuck me, tonight."

I stop staring at her with my perfectly engineered exasperated face, and switch immediately to offense. "And what do you mean by that?"

She adds a half shouldered shrug to her lopsided smile. "I mean… We do this every time. I make a move, you give me an excuse. I make another move, you explain why you're not in the mood. I find a way to unzip your jeans and you figure 'oh well, at least she's good at what she does'." She pauses here to flash me more of her intoxicating smile. "And I mean, I _so_ am."

I can't even agree with her, I'm so dumbfounded by her previous assumption. And let me tell you, I'm not speechless often. "I can't believe that's what you actually think," I finally manage.

She frowns. "Um, well, yeah. And don't pretend you don't as well, I've seen the faces you make."

I shake my head at the misunderstanding. "No, no, no, you're rockin' in bed, sweetheart, that's not what I was talking about. What I mean is I can't believe you think I don't really want you."

She stares at me for a moment, still frowning a bit. Her lip gloss is smudged. "I just sort of assumed," she says finally. "You're always-" She breaks off, and I can't believe this is happening. "You're always pushing me away."

There's three seconds where I'm flabbergasted. Nothing to say, I just gape at her. She's amazing, Hanna. She holds on to spirit like no one I've ever known. I don't know what A is doing to her, she won't tell me, or anyone. But I know it's horrible. Worse than Aria's secret about Mr. Fitz, even. But Hanna holds on, and that kind of spirit makes my knees weak.

Plus, she's Hanna Marin. I can give you a long, long list of boys who would kill to see Hanna in the ways I've seen Hanna. Namely, underneath me, naked.

But more than anything else, she's the one person who's got me through things that no one else could. Ali's death… A's threats and taunts. A conversation with Hanna makes everything okay, and sleeping with Hanna makes everything better than it's ever been before.

I can't believe she doesn't realize that.

So I grab her thighs and pull her legs tighter around my waist, and kiss her, hard. My tongue slides into her mouth and it's a moment before she reacts, but boy, does she react. Her right hand is buried in my hair and her left is sliding down my stomach…

Before it gets to where I know it's headed, I break our kiss, and stare seriously into her eyes. "Hanna Marin," I say, my voice a low and husky growl. "You can think whatever you want about me, but don't you dare think I don't want you."

Surprise only lingers on her face for a second, before it's replaced with a mischievous grin. "Can I _do_ whatever I want to you as well?"

I return her smile, deciding that any conversation about feelings is probably going to have to wait. "I would expect no less."

I really hope my parents don't come home early from their event tonight. I think this is going to be loud.


	2. Free

So I did decide to do something with this, hope you like it. I also tried to establish some sort of a timeline, which should help evolve it into something more than just a way to get my two favourite characters from this show to lurve each other.

Review! And enjoy Hanna's POV. I wish I could live inside her head forever. Try and interpret that in the non-creepiest way you can.

I wake up, and I'm not in my bed.

The morning after being with Spencer, there's always this split second where I hover between sleep and consciousness, and I have this warm feeling of being obligation free, finally. Like all of the bullshit in my life with A and my mom is all meaningless, just for a while. With my eyes still closed, I smile, and I feel free. Spencer makes me feel free.

Her hand, resting on the bare skin of my hip, squeezes gently. I open my eyes to find her beautiful brown ones staring into mine. "What's up," she whispers, her signature half smile touching the edges of her lips.

I grin back at her, and curl a little closer into her embrace. "Nothing, just perfection," I tell her. It's the truth, too. Spencer practically defines perfection.

"I should hope so," she says quietly. The throaty quality to her voice makes me want to kiss her, so I do.

She laughs once into my mouth, and then returns my kiss. It deepens quickly, and her arms tighten around me. All too soon, she pulls away. "My parents are _so _home," she whispers into my ear.

"You don't know that," I reply, and I start to kiss down her jawline since her lips have been taken away from me.

The sound of voices and a closing cupboard door echo up the stairs. Spencer chuckles a bit, gives me a quick kiss, and slides out of bed. I instantly miss the feeling of her warm arms around me. "I do know that we have to go to school," she says as I watch her pull on a dark blue shirt and jeans.

I sit up in her bed and smirk at her. "I see we're back to normal," I remark. "I try and get you to do me, and you go and put clothes on. You drive me crazy, you know."

She smiles at me, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She looks more serious than playful. "I hope you're still not harbouring the delusion that I _want_ to be putting clothes on right now."

I laugh inwardly. Harbouring the delusion indeed. "It's early, Spence, not everyone has the vocab of a PhD student. English, please?"

She sighs and moves back to sit on the bed. She takes my hand and looks into my eyes. "When I pull away from you," she begins, slowly and seriously, "You do know I'm just playing, right?" Her intoxicating smile begins to edge back onto her lips. "I like it when you seduce me."

Well. I guess that I can understand. I wonder how big I'm grinning right now. "Oh," I say. I edge a little closer. "Spencer Hastings, aren't you dirty!"

She dodges my attempt to capture her lips and heads back up to her closet, laughing lightly. Damn those tennis reflexes. "We do actually have to go to school, though," she repeats over her shoulder. She pulls out a dark blue blazer and a brimmed black hat.

Despite my frustration at being cheated out of a kiss, I can't help giggling. "It's kind of a wonder no one's figured out anything about us, you know," I say. "You dress pretty gay, Spence."

This gets another laugh out of her. She turns to face me, grinning. "Remember when I wore the tie?"

My smile turns devious. "Vividly."

Footsteps coming up the stairs. Spencer presses a finger to her lips and throws me a skirt and a sweater of mine she has in her closet. "Spencer?" comes a voice from outside the door. Melissa's voice.

Spencer frowns a bit, as do I. What's Melissa doing home? "I'm getting dressed. What is it?"

"I thought I heard voices," comes the reply.

I pause in pulling the sweater over my head to glance at Spencer. A tiny note of panic flashes across her face, but only for a second. Her natural cool and collected demeanour returns almost immediately. "I had the radio on," she says casually through the door. "Was there anything else?"

There's a creak from the floorboards as we hear Melissa turn to go back downstairs. "No, I just thought I'd say goodbye, Ian and I are going out shopping. We left breakfast on the table." The sound of her footsteps echo as she descends the staircase.

Spencer continues to stare at the door, the look on her face now stony. "Like I'd eat anything Ian's touched," she mutters.

I slide out of bed, dressed now. I can feel some of my daily frustration slip back into my head, like a thousand little hornets invading every part of my life. Ian. Alison. A. I don't even know who I should be scared of anymore. I walk to the door and take Spencer's hand. "Stay at my house, tonight," I tell her.

She stops looking angry for a moment when she looks at me. "I can't," she says sadly. "I have dinner with my parents, then I have an essay to write." She sees me about to scoff at her and cuts off what I'm about to say. "I really can't, Hanna. Believe me, I wish I could."

I'm all ready to be mad at her, but it's not that easy. Especially when I can see the sincerity written all over her face. "Fine, but you owe me."

She grins. "Big time. Now come on, grab your stuff. I think Melissa and Ian are gone, so you can actually leave through the front door this time!"

"Ooh, goody," I drawl as I pick up my purse. I look around for my phone. "Have you seen my-"

"Cell?" I look up and Spencer's holding my phone out to me, still smirking.

I snatch it from her, giving her my very best snarky face. "Thank you." I look down and I have three new text messages. One's from Aria, who wants to know if I've seen her green and blue earrings. One's from my mom, who wants to know if lasagne is good for dinner tonight.

And one's from A.

I don't look at it right away. I follow Spencer down the stairs. She holds my hand, since we're alone. Though it feels amazing and I just want to revel in it before we have to go out into the world again, my stomach's churning. What now?

It's been a while since I've last heard from A, since I was made to give Aria's mom those tickets. My stomach twists again with the guilt. I remember the terrible week I spent trying to hide that guilt… even now that Aria has forgiven me, the fact that I actually betrayed her like that still shocks me.

It's like I told her, I don't like knowing what I'm capable of.

"Hanna? Ready to go?"

I jerk out of my grim thoughts to look at Spencer standing beside me, at the front door. "Sorry," I tell her. "Got all lost inside my head." I flash her a goofy smile.

She squeezes my hand and kisses me softly. "Back to reality," she murmurs, her deep brown eyes flickering in a way that makes my knees weak. She lets go of my hand, opens the door and leads me out towards her car.

Because I know I can't ignore it anymore, I glance quickly at my phone. My heart skips a beat inside my chest.

**Mommy may be off the hook, but that doesn't mean you are, Hanna dearest. How was your sleepover?**

**-A**


	3. Spaced Out

Iiiiiiiit's plot development time! Yay!

I promise the next chapter will have more Hanna/Spencer alone time. Also, please review and let me know what you think of my little twist. (Yay!)

I pull into the school's parking lot and groan as I realize I'm going to be parking significantly further from the building than I had hoped. "Looks like we're going to be hiking to class this morning," I say.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hanna look up suddenly, as if she was jerking herself out of a dream. "Sorry, what was that?"

I raise an eyebrow at her as I turn into a parking space. "I was talking about the fact that we're late, and so we are parking light years from the school. But now I'm more interested in whatever you were thinking so hard about."

She shrugs offhandedly, and gives a slight smile. "It was nothing, just spaced out again." She unbuckles her seatbelt and opens her door. "Come on, Hastings, we've got class."

I frown as I get out of the car and catch up with Hanna, who's already making her way through the sea of student parking. "You're spacing out a lot this morning, aren't you? Sure there's nothing wrong?"

She rolls her eyes and squeezes my arm gently. "Yes, I'm sure," she insists with a smile. She lowers her voice and whispers in my ear. "It's just taking a little while for my brain to reboot after what you did to me last night."

I can feel a wide grin stealing across my face. "I suppose that's only to be expected."

We finally make it to the front of the school, where we encounter a massively long line leading to the coffee cart. "Yeah, there is no way I'm standing in that," I say firmly, eyeing the kid fumbling with change at the front of the line. "I'd rather wait until break than spend an hour in line for a burned latte."

"Hey, they don't always burn it," Hanna remarks. "And maybe _you_ can make it through three classes with no caffeine, but I certainly can't."

I smirk at her. "Suit yourself. See you in roughly the year 2050, when you finally get to the front of the line."

Surveying the crowd of students, a smile creeps onto Hanna's face. "If you have the right method, there's a way around everything," she says in a satisfied tone. "I'll see you later, okay? Hey Aria!"

I can't help but chuckle to myself as she cuts through the mob and slides effortlessly into conversation with Aria, who is at least two thirds of the way through the line already. I head to the front doors. Only Hanna.

First period drags on seemingly forever, although I do manage to take a page of notes, which are thorough, if a bit messy. The bell finally rings and I head to my locker, where I spot Emily.

She sees me coming. "Hey, Spence." She then slams her locker door shut. Very hard.

"Whoa, there," I say, raising my eyebrows. "What did that locker ever do to you?"

She shakes her head. "It's not the locker, it's Paige."

I feel like my throat is closing up. Oh dear god no. "Paige?" I repeat slowly. "Paige McCullers?"

Emily nods exasperatedly. She seems not to notice my face draining of all colour. "She's on my swim team, and it's getting to be… well, a little bit of a problem."

I try and pull myself together. Okay, this isn't a big deal. It's not like I'm involved with Paige or anything. It's not like I ever was, seriously. So, fine. "A problem like how?" I manage to say finally.

"She's just so competitive! And now there's this swim off for captain and she's just making it into such a huge thing…"

As I listen to her expel her frustration, I realize my mistaken assumption. Emily's not making out with Paige after swim practice, she's competing with her for captain. I start to breathe normally again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not jealous. Far from it. I've been seeing Hanna for a while now, since she started hanging out with me, Aria and Emily instead of Mona the vampire. And I couldn't be happier with her; she's beautiful and hilarious and amazing. It's just that the thought of Paige popping into my life again, even through Emily, makes my blood pressure skyrocket.

I first really talked to Paige last year, back when Aria was gone and Hanna was busy being a Barbie Princess. I knew her before, but only as that harsh redhead on Emily's swim team. She saw me standing sitting behind the school one afternoon. I remember her telling me there was something different about me. On some spur of the moment impulse I still wonder about, I told her it was because I thought I might be gay. And then we were kissing. And then we were kissing every day.

It didn't last long. She wasn't right for me, not by a long shot. She was too competitive, she needed to be perfect too much. She was too… _me_ for me. We agreed after a while that it just wasn't working, and we parted ways. She was seen laughing at boys' bad jokes in the cafeteria. I gave up on romance for a while.

"Spencer? Are you listening to me?"

I jerk myself out of my reverie. "Oh, god, I'm sorry Emily. I just got a little…" I cringe inwardly. "Lost inside my head."

Emily laughs. "It's alright, it's only a swim meet, I can deal. Also, you sound like Hanna."

I smile at that. "God, I hope she's not rubbing off on me." Figuratively speaking, of course.

Emily gives me strange little sideways glance, smirking a bit. "Right. You guys have been spending a lot of time together, huh?"

Uh oh. "Oh you know, no more than usual," I say quickly. Maybe a little too quickly. "I mean… you know." I feel my face turning pink.

Smooth.

Emily just smiles a little wider. "Right," she says. She lowers her voice a bit and mumbles, still smirking, into her locker. "I do know."

Uh oh. Damn it, I was so hoping to not be the one who blew the secret. Hanna's going to be so snotty about this. I pull a face and turn to my own locker.

Emily sees me, and sighs. "Spencer, whatever's going on with you, you know I'm not going to say anything to anyone if you don't want me to, right?" She fixes me with that honest brown eyed stare of hers. "Your business is yours. I know that better than anyone."

I could kiss her. "Emily, you're the best." I pause. "Not even Aria, okay?"

She smiles warmly at me. "See you at lunch, Spence." She closes her locker and heads off down the hallway.

I shut my own locker, and stand with my back to it, and watch the people walking by. And I wonder what just happened.


	4. Public, Schmublic

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I slide my tray onto the table and drag the cheap plastic cafeteria chair back. "Can anyone explain to me what I'm supposed to being eating?" I ask despondedly, sinking into the chair.

"I think its casserole," says Emily tentatively, poking the whatever-it-is with her fork.

"The question is, what kind of casserole," adds Aria, biting into an apple. "I'm thinking it's probably monkey brain."

"Nice," sighs Spencer, pushing her own tray away. "And to think, I was actually going to try and eat the mystery lunch today." And then she flashes a small, private smile at me.

I can actually feel my heart skip a beat in my chest. How does she do this to me? I smile back quickly, and then realize someone's talking to me. I try to concentrate on the conversation. "What was that?"

For some reason, Emily's grinning at me like an idiot. "I was asking how class went today. I missed it, last minute swim practice." She cocks her head to the side, and her grin gets even more knowing. "You look kind of… distracted. You feeling okay?"

Maybe she thinks I don't catch her quick, amused glance at Spencer. But I do. My heart starts pounding- Does Emily know? How did she find out? This is just too much. First, there was that text from A, which means I'm going to be blackmail fodder again, soon enough. And now, Emily, who seems to find me smiling at Spencer suspiciously amusing. I shrug at her, struggling to keep my facial expression calm. "I'm fine, just slightly nauseated from looking at my lunch. And nothing happened in class, really."

Emily takes a sip of her cherry cola. "Good, I don't feel like catching up." There's a beeping noise, and she takes her phone out of her pocket. She looks at it and frowns. "Ugh. I have to go take care of this, sorry guys."

Aria peers into Emily's eyes. "What is it? Its not-"

Emily waves a hand dismissively. "No, no, nothing sinister. Well, not extremely sinister, anyway." She gets up, and puts her phone back in her pocket. "See you later," she grumbles, and stalks off.

Spencer watches her go, a slightly worried look on her face. Aria appears not to notice anything, but I have had enough of being confused. "Spencer, I just remembered I have that book for you in my locker. Come with me and get it?"

She nods, and I can't read her face. "Sure," she says. She gets up, and starts to follow me out of the cafeteria.

We're thirty seconds away and I can hear Aria exclaim "I could've sworn I was eating with _people_ two minutes ago."

Deciding to deal with Aria's inevitable indignation later, I pull Spencer into the bathroom. Thankfully, it's empty. I take hold of her hand. "Okay, what the hell is going on?"

She looks at me for a second like she's going to say 'What, nothing's wrong' but then apparently decides it's just not worth the effort. I'm very persistent when I want something, as she knows very well. "Which bit exactly are you referring to?" she asks, sighing.

"Emily," I say immediately. "How does she know?"

She gives a strained smile. "Wow, that didn't take you long, did it?" She runs her free hand through her hair. "Long story short, I fucked up." She looks at me apologetically. "I may have given it away."

"Spencer!" I drop her hand. Seriously, I can't believe her, sometimes. A is bad enough, I should at least be able to trust Spencer to not let the world know our secret. "How hard is it to not tell people? Literally, all you have to do is _not_ tell them!"

"Well it's not like I walked up to her and said 'Hey, I'm boning Hanna!' She got it out of me!" She crosses her arms. "Emily knows me too well, it was only a matter of time."

I sigh and stare at the ceiling. "A matter of time," I mutter, disbelieving. I look back at Spencer. "Did you at least swear her to secrecy? Wait, do you know what secrecy is?"

"Hanna…" she murmurs. There's this look in her eyes, and I can feel my heart melting a bit. "She's not going to tell anyone. I wouldn't let you down like that." She moves a step closer to me, and takes my hand in hers again. Apologetic sincerity exudes from every inch of her beautiful, perfect face.

Damn it, damn it, damn it, no, I'm angry, I'm angry, I'm angry. "Wouldn't you?" I manage to snark, but my voice has no edge to it.

Spencer smiles and I can tell she knows she's off the hook. Damn it! "You know I wouldn't," she says softly. She moves closer to me, taking both my hands. She puts her mouth close to my ear. "I need you too much." She kisses my earlobe.

"This isn't over," I whisper pathetically. I free my hands, and then move them to her hips, pulling them closer to mine. I lean into her neck and lightly kiss the spot on her collarbone that I know drives her crazy.

She tenses in my arms. "Hanna, we are in a public bathroom, you know."

But there's no stopping me now, and I smile against the smooth skin of her neck as my lips drift to her jawline. "Public, schmublic."

"You can't just add 'schm-' in front of a word to make it go away," she grumbles, but I see her eyes flutter shut as my right hand creeps just slightly under the fabric of her shirt.

I suck determinedly on her pulse point. "Give in, Hastings," I hiss, my hand sneaking unbelievably slowly up her shirt. She twitches slightly with every inch I gain. "Wouldn't it be so _nice_ to give in?"

"Anyone could walk in," she breathes out, her voice with a near frantic tone to it. I move my left hand to the small of her back and push her so close to me her belt cuts into the skin just above the waistband of my jeans. A high pitched noise escapes her throat.

As my fingers pass the top of her ribcage, I move my lips from her jawline, looking up into her eyes. I smile as I see the frenzied need flickering there. Without so much as a warning, I lean in and capture her lips, quickly parting them and exploring the inside of her mouth. After a few seconds, I pull back and stare into her eyes again. "Give in," I repeat breathily.

"Oh, fuck you," she growls as she finally succumbs and pushes me up against the cool white linoleum of the bathroom wall.

Her knee pushes in between my legs and as she moves it upwards I gasp. "Yeah, that's the idea," I breathe. She kisses me, hard, and I start to lose myself. Spencer does that to me, it's just the way she is. She lowers her leg and pushes herself against me, our bodies so maddeningly close. I wonder if she plans on fucking me right up against this wall. I have to say, I have no problem with that idea at all.

Until I hear the door open. I feel Spencer jump away from me, but its too late. Whoever just walked in _definitely_ got an eyeful. I try and resign myself to the fact that someone else knows, now.

Unless that someone already knew. I hear Spencer sigh in relief as Emily closes the door behind her, shaking her head in obvious amusement. "If you guys are trying to stay under the radar," she says with a smile, "you're doing an _amazingly_ bad job."

Spencer runs her fingers through her hair. "It was not my fault," she tells Emily firmly. She shoots me a slightly teasing look. "Hanna has some self control issues."

I stick my tongue out at her.

Spencer laughs quietly, and then quickly looks back at Emily. "So. Did you take care of that thing?"

Emily stops grinning pointedly at the state of Spencer's still unbuckled belt (which Spencer seems not to notice), and makes her way to the sink. She turns the tap and splashes water on her face. "That girl is unbelievable."

I frown at her. "Which girl?" I hadn't heard Emily talk about anyone since Maya left. "Have you been holding out on me?"

Emily shakes her head. "No, it's not like that. It's just this girl from my swim team. She's just… Well, let's just say she doesn't appreciate the possibility of losing the captaincy to a girl like me."

Spencer moves closer, her brow furrowed. "A girl like you? Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Emily nods. Spencer gapes at her. "You never told me that before!"

Emily stares at herself in the mirror, and shrugs. "It isn't really that important. I can take care of it."

"Hold on," I interrupt, feeling lost. "Who are we talking about, here?" I run through a mental list of everyone I know on the swim team. No one stands out as a homophobic bigot.

Emily scowls at her reflection. "Paige McCullers."

I laugh. "Paige McCullers?" This has got to be a joke. "But Paige McCullers is-" I stop talking as Spencer gives me a scorching look.

Emily turns around to face me. "Paige McCullers is what?"

"Um," I say, my mind whirring furiously. What is going on now? Why would Paige be acting like an idiot with an anti-gay picket sign when I know perfectly well she was making out with Spencer behind the school a year ago? And why would Spencer not want Emily to know? I try and think of something to say. "Um," I repeat, looking into Emily's confused brown eyes. "She's a total pushover."

Emily raises an eyebrow. "A pushover. Have you _met_ Paige?"

I shrug. "Well, you know. I just- heard she was a softie."

"Right," Emily snorts. "I'd like to talk to whoever thinks that." She adjusts her bag on her shoulder, and heads to the bathroom door. "You coming, Spencer?" she says. "The bell's about to ring, we've got class." Then she grins at me. "You know, unless you've got anything in here you wanted to finish up with."

Spencer shakes her head quickly. "No, I'm coming." She glances at me quickly, not smiling. Good, she knows she's got some explaining to do, again. 'Later' she mouths at me as she follows Emily out the door.

Later, indeed.


	5. Ready?

Hey! An update!

Review please!

The bell rings, and that's the last class of the day over. Usually this is cause for celebration, but today I'm feeling decidedly grim about it. I slide my workbook into my backpack and shoulder it. I hear Emily laugh. "What?" I say, glancing over at her.

"You look like you're on your way to the noose," she quips as she stands from her desk. "What's got you all gloomy?"

It occurs to me that now that Emily knows about me and Hanna, I can actually talk to someone about our relationship. My mood brightens a bit. At least there's that. "It's Hanna, actually," I tell Emily as we leave the classroom.

She raises her eyebrows, and seems to be holding back a laugh. "Really? I mean, you guys seemed to be doing okay at lunch."

I punch her lightly in the shoulder. "Shut up. And yeah, we are, its just I have a few things to explain to her and I'm not really looking forward to it."

Emily opens her locker. "Well good luck with it. Explaining things to girls is never easy." She grins. "You realize Aria's the only one of us still dating guys?"

I laugh, imagining Aria's face when she finds out. "That'll be a fun conversation."

Emily looks a bit more serious. "You're not ready to tell though, are you?"

I sigh. The thing is, _I'm_ ready. I am. I think I've always been- I have a crazy strict family, and I know that coming out won't be easy, but I want to do it. It's just the way I am. I don't think hiding something like this really helps anyone.

Hanna's different. She's always had issues with what people think about her- how could she not, with Aly always ragging her about her weight? I don't blame her for wanting to keep things a secret, I completely understand. But god, being able to hold her hand in public would be nice.

I turn to Emily, realizing I've been silent for a while. "No, we're not ready."

"Not ready for what?"

It's Aria. I paste a carefree smile onto my face. "Nothing." I look over my shoulder, immediately searching the hall for blonde hair. "Where's Hanna?"

Aria frowns. "I don't know, actually, it was kind of weird. She got a text message like, five minutes ago in class, and she just bolted." Aria suddenly looks anxious. "You don't think it could be from… A, do you?

Emily closes her locker and turns slowly, her face pensive. "I haven't heard anything from A in ages," she says quietly. "You, Spence?"

I shake my head. "Nothing." I feel myself consumed with worry all of a sudden, pushing aside my petty nervousness over the Paige McCullers thing. I hadn't considered A in forever- like Emily said, things have been quiet. I bite my lip. What could A have on Hanna? "Listen, can I meet you guys later? I have something I need to do."

Aria turns to look at me, irked. "We were going to go get coffee!"

I shut my locker, and start down the hall. "I'll be there in an hour!" I call over my shoulder.

I turn a corner and put my cell to my ear, already dialing Hanna's number. I have a hunch where she'll be, but I want to hear her voice. The phone rings a few times before she picks up.

"Hi, Spence." 

Her voice has the same happy, chipper note to it as usual, but I know her well enough to hear the hitch in it, even over the phone. She's seriously shaken up over something. "Where are you?" I ask, my voice urgent.

I can hear her slowly exhale. "You know where I am." The forced cheerfulness is gone now. Obviously she's realized I'm the one person who won't buy her act for a second. I end the call and open the fire escape door- the one with the alarm that's never worked. I see Hanna sitting morosely on the front step, staring at an empty parking lot of the church across the street.

I sit down next to her and cut right to the chase. "Aria mentioned you bolted out of class." I slip my hand into hers. "After getting a text message. Is it A?"

Hanna slowly takes in a breath and looks at me. Confirmation is written all over her face. "It's really bad this time, Spencer," she says quietly.

She sounds so scared that my stomach cramps in sympathy. "You don't have to tell me, sweetheart," I say, hopefully soothingly, as I squeeze her hand. "But know I'm here for you."

She laughs, but sounds pained. "You already know." She stares at me, the pain there in her eyes. She squeezes my hand back.

There's a pause before it clicks. And then the reality of all of it crashes on my shoulders like a physical blow. It's like all the air is going out of my lungs. My eyes close. "A knows about us," I say aloud.

I feel warm breath on my cheeks, and then soft lips, kissing my eyelids once, lightly. I open my eyes and look into Hanna's beautiful, terrified face. "What have the messages said?" I can feel myself switch from feeling shocked to feeling purposeful. I _can_ figure this out, bust A, and I'll never have to see Hanna look so hurt again.

Hanna pulls her phone out from her purse. "The first one I got this morning," she starts. "It said… 'How was your sleepover?'"

I sigh. Oh Hanna. "That's why you were so distant."

She winces. "I shouldn't have kept it from you. I didn't want you to worry."

Oh Hanna. I smile weakly. "Well that worked out well." She rolls her eyes. "What did the second message say?"

Her expression turns stony. She hands me her phone.

I read the message. Once, and then again. And a flood of emotions run through me. Fear, shock, disbelief.

And then anger.

I turn to my beautiful girlfriend, who doesn't deserve to have to deal with this bullshit, and never did. And I make a promise. "This is the last straw," I say, my voice steady. "Call Aria and Emily. We're going to catch this bitch."

The message read;

'**Enjoy it for the next week, Miss Hanna. Because seven days from now, I'm going to make sure **_**your**_** secret isn't just yours anymore.'**


	6. Proud

Wooo update Enjoyyyy

"Aria?" I say into the phone, trying to keep my voice level despite my lingering fear and anger at A. "Yeah, we'll be there in ten minutes, okay? And uh, we've got something to talk about, so make sure you and Emily are both still around."

"Is everything okay?" A sharp note of concern is evident in Aria's voice, even with my phone's shitty connection.

I don't really know what to say. "We'll talk about it when we get there. See you guys soon."

"Alright," she replies quickly. "Don't be late."

I terminate the call, and turn to Spencer. "We should go, we've got about ten minutes until Aria sends a search party."

Spencer takes hold of my hand as we stand up from the stone steps. "We'll take my car," she says.

As we're walking around the building to the parking lot, I begin to notice that Spencer is trying to build up the nerve to ask me something. I can always tell when she's mustering her courage; she has a tendency to chew on her lip. I walk next to her patiently for a while, enjoying the feeling of her hand in mine. Finally, she speaks, rather hesitantly. "So… What are we going to tell her? Aria, I mean." 

I glance sideways at her. Oh boy. I know where this is going. Ever since we got together, Spencer's been itching to come out and tell people about us. I know this, even though sometimes she doesn't say anything about it. She gets this look in her eyes sometimes, like when she sees a happy boy-girl couple in the hallway, or when she has to lie about why she spends nights over at my house. And I understand why she wants to be honest about us. It's who she is. But it's not who I am. Not yet. I swallow slowly. Maybe I can buy some time. "What do you mean? Aren't we going to talk about tackling our A problem?"

An exasperated edge colours Spencer's voice. "You know what I mean, Hanna." She sighs. "I get it, you're not ready to come out to everyone. I so respect that. But this is Aria, basically your best friend. Emily already knows. Plus we're tackling A here, its not going to pay to lie to someone who's on our side." The look on her face is clear and firm. Her eyes flash intensely. "We don't have to be afraid, we can be honest with her."

Goddamn it. Why does Spencer always have to make so much sense? But still, I can't do this yet… It's something inside me that just cowers at the idea. I know that Aria is one of the most accepting and trustworthy people I know- she never stopped respecting Emily for a second when she came out. But somehow, my stomach still churns when I think about saying it out loud. I look up at Spencer. "Can't we just put it off? I know we can't keep hiding this from her, but I feel like I…" I try and find the right words. "I can't expose that part of myself to someone yet. I've never come out to anyone before."

The thin line of Spencer's lips twists unhappily. "What about Emily? She knows."

I shake my head. "It's not the same. Emily figured it out, or you told her, or whatever. Plus, Emily's gay. It's not like she was going to shun us."

Frustrated, Spencer runs her free hand through her hair. "Aria's not going to shun us either! Hanna, I just don't know how you can be so afraid of someone who loves you."

We're rounding the bend to the parking lot, which is pretty empty but there might still be people around. I drop Spencer's hand on a reflex- someone might see us. Then I turn my head towards her and open my mouth to tell her she's wrong. I'm not afraid of Aria. It's more this gut anxiety I have. I don't know what caused it- I know it could be a lot of things. Maybe Alison's constant nagging, maybe feeling like I never lived up to expectations, I don't know. But I know I love Spencer. I just need more time.

Unfortunately, I don't get the chance to say any of this, because as soon as I drop her hand, Spencer looks so hurt it breaks my heart. "It's things like this, Hanna!" she says, heartbreak apparent in every line of her face. "You're so secretive, and it kills me sometimes. I know you say you're not ready to come out- but sometimes I wonder if you're just ashamed."

"Spencer, that's not it at all!" I exclaim, my chest swelling with emotion as I hear the devastation in her voice.

"I keep trying to tell myself that," she says quietly. Her voice hitches. "It's just getting harder."

I'm frozen in place, I can't believe this is happening. I always knew this insane self consciousness was damaging, but I never _ever_ imagined it could be this bad. I never imagined it could take Spencer away from me.

That is simply unacceptable.

So I kiss her. We're in full view of the entire school parking lot, it's broad daylight, and I don't care. I have no idea if there's anyone watching us, but for once, it doesn't even matter. All that matters is the feel of her lips against mine. I hear her surprised moan, and I slip my tongue into her mouth, burying my fingers in her hair. I want to taste and touch every bit of her that I can, because I can't imagine her not being mine. I need her to be mine.

After what seems like no time at all, she pulls away. "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that," she whispers. Her face shows almost no expression, but I can hear the smile in her voice.

A grin spreads on my own face. The shocking, painful feelings of a moment ago seem to have melted away. But I need to make sure she never thinks I'm ashamed of her again. I look deep into her eyes. "Listen," I begin, trying to imitate Spencer's authorative way of talking. "You and me- it's the most important thing to me in the world. And even though it does freak me out a little… with your help, I think I can do it. Let's tell Aria, okay?"

A beautiful smile touches Spencer's lips, and she nods. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

I kiss her forehead. "You deserve it."

We head to the car. While we're walking, Spencer glances around the parking lot. "In any case, it doesn't look like anyone here saw us."

I look around too, and she's right. "Well at least we don't have additional complications, I guess." I smile again. "Plus I got to mack on you in public."

She shakes her head, amused. "That you did." We reach her car, and both hop in.

We're halfway to the coffee shop when I turn to her again, serious for a moment. "Spencer?" 

"Mhm?"

"I love you. And I'm sorry that I hurt you back there."

She smiles at me. "Don't worry about it. It was a tense moment, though." Then she laughs softly. "And to think, this afternoon I was worried about Paige McCullers."

The name brings back the curious memory of the bathroom incident from this afternoon. "What was it about Paige McCullers anyway?" I ask, with a slight frown. "Why didn't you want Emily knowing she was gay? You never said."

A frown shows up on Spencer's face too. "I think," she says hesitantly. "That if Emily knew, their relationship might change direction rather quickly."

I raise my eyebrows. "Seriously? Paige seems to really hate her, and vise versa. Plus, why do you care?" My stomach twitches with something. Jealousy? I shake it off.

Spencer's mouth twists uncomfortably. "I care about Emily, you know? And Paige is such a nutcase- she'd never consider being honest with people about a relationship." Spencer smiles then, and looks at me. "Not like you. I know how hard this is for you, but you're doing it anyway. That takes courage- I'm so proud of you."

I take her hand and smile back, a little deviously. "You owe me. Big time."


	7. Good News?

So it took a while, but it's here! Also just so everyone knows, I'll let you know if I'm giving up on this story. Updates may be far between, but I'm going to try and make them as frequent as I can. Wish me luck! Read! Review!

The coffee shop's door bell rings and Hanna and I enter. Two dark haired heads look up from cups of coffee, and the shorter frantically waves us over. "Finally!" hisses Aria as we reach the private booth. "I was flipping out. What the hell is up?"

Hanna sits down and places her hand on Aria's. "It's okay sweetie, we're fine. Just breathe, alright, you're hyperventilating."

"I am not," she sulks. Her breathing does settle a bit though. "But seriously, what's all this about? You two have been sort of weird lately. Is it A? If you're being singled out, you've gotta tell us."

"It's not A," I cut in. I glance at Hanna. "Well, it sort of is, but that's not the brunt of the thing."

"We haven't been honest with you guys, and that's shitty of us," continues Hanna taking a deep breath. "But we want to be."

Emily sits quietly, but I can see her eyes widen a bit. 'Wow', she mouths at me. I offer her a quick smile in return.

Aria meanwhile is fixed on Hanna. "It's okay," she says. "Just- what is it? You can tell us anything."

Hanna looks quickly at me, her light blue eyes strong. Just looking at her, I know she's ready. Until this point, I have to admit I had my doubts- she is so guarded all the time. She smiles, and my confidence in her swells. "Go ahead," I say, smiling back.

Hanna turns back to a confused looking Aria. "It was never meant to turn out like this," she starts off. "I didn't ever think one night would turn into two. I didn't think that after a week there'd be a month after that. But after a while…" she falls silent for a short moment. "After a while you can't even help it anymore. Not that I mind."

Emily is smiling so wide she could fit a watermelon slice in her mouth. Aria looks dumbfounded. "I don't get it," she says bluntly after a beat.

"For a while now," Hanna starts again, "Spencer and I… Well-" She looks at me, and takes my hand under the table. And then she moves our entwined fingers on top of the table. "Nobody knows," she whispers. "But you really needed to."

If it were possible for someone's jaw to drop right off their face, Aria's would have. Her eyes are wide, and her mouth hangs open for a good fifteen seconds before she tries to form a sentence. "Wha- what, are you… What?" She blinks forcefully and shakes her head again before looking frantically between Hanna and I. "What?"

Emily leans forward. "Come on, Aria, it was kind of obvious," she says with a soft smile. "Did you ever wonder why Hanna always stayed at Spencer's after meetings? Why they always drove in together…" she shoots me a grin. "Late."

Aria gapes at Emily. "You knew? Since when?"

The tall swimmer shrugs. "Well I walked in on them in the bathroom today. But I've had suspicions for a while."

"In the _bathroom_?" The shock on Aria's face is replaced by a grin. "I didn't think Spencer had it in her."

"It took some convincing," smirks Hanna as I lightly smack Aria's forearm across the table.

We laugh for a moment, and then fall silent again. "I can't believe this," Aria says quietly. "I mean, it's obviously true, but I can't believe I didn't figure it out. Am I that wrapped up in myself?"

"Oh you know that's not it," I say reassuringly. "You just never expected this to happen. I know it's a big thing to have to come to terms with."

"Emily knew," Aria points out.

"Gaydar, Aria," Emily says smoothly. "I've been noticing those outfits of Spencer's for a while now," she adds cheekily.

"Oh shut up," I respond.

Aria laughs again, and then leans back against the booth surveying Hanna and I. "Well, this has been a lot to take in, but I have to tell you I'm glad you told me. If we've learned anything from all the bullshit we've been going through it's that secrets are poisonous." She smiles. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Aria you have no idea how much that means to me," Hanna says quietly. She smiles too.

The tiny brunette takes a sip of coffee. "Good. Also, I gotta say; I'm amazingly glad this news is just you guys boning and not some up and coming A crisis. Ian is enough to deal with right now."

The happy bubble inside my chest deflates slightly as I look at Hanna and see her remember the ominous texts at the same time I do. "Actually," I start hesitantly. "There may be a bit more to this."

Sighing, Aria sets down her cup again. "Why can't anything just be good news?"


End file.
